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Some short jokes

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Some short jokes Empty Some short jokes

Post by OldStyle Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:12 am

On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?" he asked.
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."


Two goldfish in a bowl talking:
Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."
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Post by NindI Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:02 am

A man walks into a bar.... OW! - hahaha, sorry.... i know that is one of the stupidest jokes you will ever hear, but I laugh every time I say it haha...

Anyways....

After a very frusterating day at work, a man walks into a bar, and orders the strongest drink the bartender could muster. The bartender tells the man he can make a very powerful drink, but warns the man to only have one.
Minutes after finishing the first drink, the man is unsatisfied, so... he orders another, the bartender tries to tell the man one is all he needs, but the man insists. So, the bartender makes the man another very powerful drink....

The man goes home that night completely wasted.

The next day, the man comes back into the bar and says to the bartender..
"Wow... what did you put in those drinks last night? I was up for 8 hours straight blowing chunks!"

The bartender replys "Hey, I told you one drink was enough for any man."

"No", The guy replys "You don't get it.... Chunks is my dog"......


Last edited by NindI on Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:03 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : SP =[)
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Post by Macika Mon Aug 03, 2009 10:12 pm

nice one Smile)
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Post by OldStyle Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:51 pm

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
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Post by NindI Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:17 pm

Okay, I have got a great one.... it's so great, i'm going to give the answer along with the question... but honestly, ask this joke to someone and see how long it takes for them to answer =]



Whats blue, and smells like red pain?








































Blue paint =]=]=]
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Post by Camelot Sat Sep 12, 2009 12:31 am

ok im translating these jokes from romanian to english so it might not be as good lol : 3 web masters are chatting on yahoo messenger ... they wanna have a party : the first one : guys guys ill bring the beers, the second one : guys guys ill bring the food , the third one : guys guys guess what , the other 2 : what what??
the third one : im bringing the chicks ? first and second one : nice man Very Happy how many u brining the third one : i dont kno i have about 20 gbs

A boy ask's his dad : dad where do i get my brains from ?
his dad answers : boy , im sorry to say u probably have it from ur mother .... i still have mine

3 friends meet up for a drink : a surgent , an architect and a politician they started talking about who has the oldest job : the surgent said " mine has to be first .... in the bible it says " God took a vertebre ( lol cut me some slack im trying ) from Adam and he created Eva and for that a surgent was needed , the architect said before everything there was only chaos it all had to be planed and drawn that requires the finest or architects..... then the politician said with a smurk on his face .... well my friends who do u think created all the chaos?

A cowboy spent alot of tiime in a bar when he decited it was time to call it a day he walked out of the bar and he noticed that his horse was missing he got back into the bar ordered another drink drew his gun out and said " if my horse is not back by the time i finish my drink .... i will do exacly what i did in Kansas" he didnt even get to take another zip when some cowboys said " we found ur horse here it is " then when he was walkin out the cowboys politley ask " what happened in kansas " ( u could tell that they were scared by the look on their face ) when the old cowboy who was happy that he got his horse back said " nothing , just that i had to walk home"

Birtney was wondering why she was so popular so she asked a friend :
-could it be my sparkling hair ?
-no
- could it be my faboulous face?
-nope
- i give up
- yea thats it

A man walks up to a beautiful woman and says :
- Would u pls talk to me for a few mins , ive lost my wife.
- why do u need to talk to me then
- becouse every time i talk to a beutiful woman she appiers out of nowhere

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Post by MissY Sun Sep 13, 2009 12:02 am

a: do you know how long takes an average sex?
b: yes, about half hour.
a: how so?
b: one minute for forplay, one for sex and the next 28 minutes for apologies and promises that the next time it will be better.

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